Friday, February 09, 2007
Planet Murray
Now that readers are familiar with the peculiarities of Planet Foster, I thought I might perform another public service and introduce readers to the mysteries of its neighbour, Planet Murray. The latest missive from this planet can be found here.
This planet has glowed largely white since a certain match in Scotland in 1960, but not exclusively so. Previously it glowed red, but the dimming of the red light, which began after the 1954 World Cup, has continued to this day.
On Planet Murray, most football matters are judged with reference to that wonderful white light it reflects (the Bernabeu star). Sadly, this does lead to some curious episodes of blindness.
For instance, the inhabitants of Planet Murray consider that a club playing roster assembled under a $1.5 million salary cap constitutes one of "glitz, name and glamour".
A further theory holds sway on Planet Murray; that even in a salary cap league, at a club whose finances are a wreck, Bernabeu-style panache is just around the corner.
On this planet, such impecunious clubs could always simply run themselves into massive debt, Bernabeu-style, have the city council bail them out on countless occasions, and then sell their training facilities for an obscene sum so as to fund the purchase of several overpriced stars from Europe's top clubs. Not beyond an A-League club, surely?
Incidentally, coaches on Planet Murray can be pre-judged as to their suitability for a coaching position on the basis of their statements and decisions after they have actually been appointed (the inhabitants of Planet Murray are equipped with advanced clairvoyant abilities, you see).
And at clubs on Planet Murray, players are considered absolved of all responsibility for a season of relative failure.
Another land of fantasy?
Yep. Sure is.
This planet has glowed largely white since a certain match in Scotland in 1960, but not exclusively so. Previously it glowed red, but the dimming of the red light, which began after the 1954 World Cup, has continued to this day.
On Planet Murray, most football matters are judged with reference to that wonderful white light it reflects (the Bernabeu star). Sadly, this does lead to some curious episodes of blindness.
For instance, the inhabitants of Planet Murray consider that a club playing roster assembled under a $1.5 million salary cap constitutes one of "glitz, name and glamour".
A further theory holds sway on Planet Murray; that even in a salary cap league, at a club whose finances are a wreck, Bernabeu-style panache is just around the corner.
On this planet, such impecunious clubs could always simply run themselves into massive debt, Bernabeu-style, have the city council bail them out on countless occasions, and then sell their training facilities for an obscene sum so as to fund the purchase of several overpriced stars from Europe's top clubs. Not beyond an A-League club, surely?
Incidentally, coaches on Planet Murray can be pre-judged as to their suitability for a coaching position on the basis of their statements and decisions after they have actually been appointed (the inhabitants of Planet Murray are equipped with advanced clairvoyant abilities, you see).
And at clubs on Planet Murray, players are considered absolved of all responsibility for a season of relative failure.
Another land of fantasy?
Yep. Sure is.
